connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
