help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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