I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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