There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
