Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
