Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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