How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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