I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
