I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you win again, gameday.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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