At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
