I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
