In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
