So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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