Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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