Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
