her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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