That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
