You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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