I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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