All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
