I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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