that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
