I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
