Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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