They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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