I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
