Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
