meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
