There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
