my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
