She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
