Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
