she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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