mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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