But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
