Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
