Define "chronic" masturbator.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
