What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
