sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My room smells like vodka and shame
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
