He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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