Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
