Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
