marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
