But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Im part way to drunk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
