We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
