Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
