he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
