i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
