I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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