Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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