i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
