So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
